Have been away from the Internet for a while. No blogging, no emails, no SMSs. Not even much of browsing.
The experience has been reminiscent of those pre-Internet times. And more. The thing is: I can’t say anything particular about it.
I had started out by saying that it does feel like that grayish patch of plain land that you sometimes hit on a long journey after an exciting passage through the greenery in mountains. Yet, this analogy is not at all perfect. You see, there is that boredom implied when you use that imagery of a grayish patch of a road. Yet, even boredom is not a part of the state here. What this overall mood is, can be described very simply, directly, and accurately—but without getting across much anything meaningful very successfully—as: “nothing in particular.”
Nothing in particular. Not even boredom. And, this part is important. I had come to believe that being away from the ‘net would spell boredom for me. Or not doing anything particular. But it’s not quite so. Sometimes, doing almost nothing can also be
a welcome an acceptable change.
Of course, it’s not that I have not been doing anything at all. Actually, I was doing a bit of running around too, as there was some medical condition in the family and all, in the recent past. And, yet, I also feel somewhat sure that this is not the reason behind my current overall mood. In fact, this mood of “nothing in particular” had been setting in for quite some time. May be, it’s the prolonged rainy season that does the trick. May be. Just, may be.
Actually, I had enthusiastically begun reading a few things on certain topics of my interests—general interests as well as research interests. But then, regardless of anything, any events, a mood would get set in whereby I would not feel like taking any thing to completion, not even plain reading. And, I am sure, I have energy enough to do so. It’s just that I am not in a mood to do anything specific in a great hurry.
Has there been a reader’s/writer’s block? Nope. Not quite that either! … BTW, I do know what a writer’s block is like. You have a writer’s block when you know that you do wish/want to write, and still, somehow, cannot bring yourself to writing anything. Or, whatever you write in your attempt to force yourself to write, ends up being bad or unacceptable to you even as a preliminary version. That’s what a writer’s block is supposed to mean. I guess, a reader’s block is when you feel like lying down while reading, and then you easily fall asleep, regardless of your supposed interest in reading. (What do you think?)
But the current scene is nothing of that sort. The point is: I don’t even feel like I should be writing, or even reading, in the first place. That “should” part itself is missing. I am not in a great hurry to do anything.
In a way, I am enjoying the “nothing” that I am doing!
Perhaps, what I’ve been doing is reminiscing. Sometimes, yes. But then, even not enough of it that I can say that’s what I’ve been doing!
Anyway, let me try not to bore you any further about my current mood of doing “nothing in particular.” And thusly, let me try to be a bit “dutiful” and so write down a few things that I did notice happen around me from that peripheral sort of awareness that I seem to be carrying around me these days:
- There was a 15th August in between, and also a 9/11 anniversary. And, another terrorist strike in Delhi.
- Anna Hazaare broke his fast, yet again. L. K. Advani announced a “rath yaatraa,” yet again. None asked Hazaare his opinion as to how best to tackle terrorism.
- I did not even feel like reading others’ blogs. Or, even plain logging into my account here. Or, in my accounts elsewhere.
- I did manage to read a couple of chapters in a book on history of mathematics. Realized that I have been carrying a somewhat wrong impression concerning the chronological precedence in between Lagrange and Laplace, esp. as regards (the then fledgling) the beginnings of the potential theory. I used to “think” (but anyway also knew for sure that I was not sure about it) that Laplace’s work came a decade or two before Lagrange’s, and then, on the basis of this tentative and erroneous assumption, used to wonder how come that it was Lagrange and not Laplace who began the calculus of variations. (After all, even in its most elementary “avatar,” CoV would involve a potential function.) Now, I have things better straightened out as far the energy approach in mechanics goes. First, it was Leibniz; then, Bernoulli. (d’Alembert comes somewhere in there.) Then, Euler, and Lagrange. Then, Laplace and Poisson.
- There weren’t many walls of loudspeakers during the (Marathi) “gaNapati” festival this time round in Pune. Loudspeaker walls are obviously not necessary to keep mindlessly dancing for 24+ hours. (If the goal of yoga is to go mindless, a very direct illustration of the same is available for all to see during the “gaNapati visarjan” procession.)
- A wonderful Marathi music director, Shrinivas KhaLe, passed away.
- We have had a prolonged rainy season this year. It still continues.
- A few of my favorite columnists continued providing some good commentary on the political happenings in the country.
- I bought a few books, some related to my research, and have yet to begin reading most of them.
I am sure this mood, too, shall pass. I am sure I will get back to my activities and interests, esp. my research, once again with a better level of enthusiasm. The point is, so long as one knows that such a phase is temporary, doing nothing in particular can also be, in a way, so
nice! fine! …
This post, just to let you all know that that’s the phase I am currently in. … Sort of like, taking it easy, for the time being… I will return to blogging after a month or two, may be three. May be, more. Or, may be, some time earlier, if I feel like doing so. But, still, overall, I think that I am anyway losing interest in blogging. At least, in blogging a lot. Or, at least, doing so very regularly/frequently. (I had indicated the same some time ago.) … I am sure I will resume my activities long before I resume blogging. … So, there.
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A Song I Like:
(Marathi) “shukra taaraa, manda waaraa…”
Music: Shrinivas Khale
Singer: Arun Date, Sudha Malhotra
Lyrics: Mangesh Padgaonkar
[PS: In case I’ve mentioned this song before, I’ll come back and replace it with some other wonderful song composed again by Shrinivas Khale, within a day or two. Else, as you know, it’s a temporary bye-bye to blogging for the time being.]